Life in 140 characters

I just got started on Twitter, and I have 22 followers. I had 23, but I had to block some city in Tennessee. I’m not sure why they were following me, but the idea of an entire city in a state I’ve never visited hanging on my every word was just creepy.
I follow 49 people – a modest number, to be sure – but I’ve been careful, with a couple of misses. For about 12 minutes one day, I was a Pizza Hut follower. I’d read somewhere the restaurant chain was offering its followers free stuff, so in a fit of hunger, I signed up. But after my Twitter account became clogged with pizza ads and deep questions like this one- “Would an Italian taco be similar to just a thin crust pizza rolled up?” - I said goodbye to the Hut.
For now, my favorite Twitter friend is Sarah Palin. That woman can tweet! It’s as if her brain works in 140 characters or less. Earlier today, she wrote: “elected is replaceable; Ak WILL progress! + side benefit=10 dys til less politically correct twitters fly frm my fingertps outside State site.”
I read that and thought to myself, “Wow! I HAVE to start using abrev + shortng words + ad many more !!!!s. And I shld spell out words like politically correct when they make prfct sense abrev-ed.”
Following Twitter is like sitting in a crowded coffee shop and listening to random bits of conversation. Lance Armstrong says he would like to be Mick Jagger for a day. A guy traveling in Europe on a bus was forced to unpack all his luggage for customs officials in Romania. There’s a chipmunk in the house.
This is life, on a large scale or extremely personal. It’s solemn news from Washington and Iran sprinkled amongst Harry Potter trivia, British Open fan gossip and tips about a new restaurant in Seattle/Denver/London.
It’s at once mesmerizing and annoying, an enlightening view of the world and a colossal waste of time.
A marketing wizard says it’s the new way to brand yourself. A CNN news anchor says it’s the best way to make your voice heard.
Actor Ashton Kutcher has more than 2.8 million followers on Twitter. Barack Obama has more than 1.7 million. Even someone who calls himself “Fake Barack Obama” has more than 3,000.
I’d better get busy.